i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
