Michael Bay diarrhea
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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