I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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