Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
