Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
