FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
