did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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