is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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