i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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