I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
