we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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