you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize