So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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