I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Randomize
