i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
