I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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