Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
