you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
