i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize