Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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