do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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