ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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