You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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