I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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