yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
