we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
