I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
