so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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