I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
