My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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