I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
