I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
