After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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