Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
