There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
