I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
