Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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