My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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