You're so nebulous sometimes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
