I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
