i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Non-Jews are for practice
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
