Where did you get a picture of my penis
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
