on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
True college students do jello shots in the library
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