chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
