people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
