Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
