why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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