is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im holly from the hills drunk
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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