He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
