I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
pray to the hookup gods
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
