Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i need some magic done to my vagina
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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