I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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