I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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