lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just google imaged poop.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
