he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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