There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
