the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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