you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
