Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize