What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
