home. puking in laundry basket.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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