i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
